Sunday, April 26, 2009

You've Been Warned Vol II Issue XIV

**As always, mind the spoilers, fanboy.**

- OPENING REMARKS -

Kick-Ass #6
by Mark Millar & John Romita Jr.
Icon (Marvel) Comics


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Is it just me, or does Kick-Ass kick a little less ass with each new issue? Why was this issue in particular disappointing, you may or may not be asking? Because it features a ten year old beating up grown men. I don't care how you frame the situation, ten year old kids don't beat adults up, regardless of if they're male or female. They're fucking ten. They don't have any muscle mass or height or coordination. They may be able to do long division, or learn how to swear, or possibly continue to wet the bed, but they don't slaughter mobsters, no matter how many times their daddy shoots them in their Kevlar vests. I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule, but when the child in question is a naive, petite blonde girl who didn't grow up in some Soviet salt mine I just can't get with that. Millar's taken one too many liberties with our ability to suspend disbelief, and I don't buy Hit-Girl or her hillbilly father. Sorry. Can't do it. She's fucking ten.

It's still a good series, don't get me wrong. But as far as I'm concerned, these two characters have let quite a bit of air out of this series' proverbial tires, and what was once a great series is slowly deflating into an average one.

Detective Comics #853
by Neil Gaiman & Andy Kubert (amond others)
DC Comics


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What a great big let down this storyline turned out to be. If you're looking for a Batman story full of abstractions, cliches, and Hallmark-esque sentiments about death, this is the book for you. If not, you're with the rest of us who are wondering why we got so worked up over a book about the death of Bruce Wayne when we knew he's wasn't fucking dead to begin with. Next time DC decides to make comparisons to something Alan Moore knocked out of the goddamn ballpark, I hope they read the fucking completed strip first, as to avoid making asses of themselves. Having the damn book ship on time wouldn't hurt either.

Goodnight, nurse!

- PICK OF THE WEEK -
The Incredible Hercules #128
by Greg Pak, Fred Van Lente, & Dietrich Smith
Marvel Comics


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I don't approve or enjoy anything happening in this post-Dark Reign assfuck of a universe most of the Marvel books are currently wallowing in, but it takes a hard, hard man to not get a chuckle out of Hercules clocking the Sentry while Venom's still gnawing on his fist. That's pure comedic gold. This series continues to be one of the most enjoyable Marvel's currently producing. Given their track record on good books, I'll give them another two or three months before they cancel it (the assholes).

- PAN OF THE WEEK -
Thor #601
by J. Michael Straczynski & Marko Djurdjevic
Marvel Comics


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What the fucking fuck? Doctor Doom doesn't need Wikipedia! And even if he fucking did, he wouldn't fucking admit it! He's a fucking evil genius! Fuck's sake! Get your motherfucking characterizations straight, Straczynski, you pop-culture referencing jive sucka!

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or does "You've been Warned" kick a little less ass with each new posting

MisterV said...

People always get their tits in a knot whenever I have something negative to say about Millar. You know what? It's a mediocre issue. The man's not a god. Fucking get over it.